My nickname is kelly. I'm a 40yr old mom of two beautiful little girls, two guinea pigs and a hamster(Rocky)~ICU nurse~cancer survivor~recovering addict~ex-smoker~living
in Calgary, Alberta.....
.... or...
just another sheep searching for the meaning of life and everlasting
happiness....
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
When i find it i'll be sure to let you know though ;)~~~~~~~~
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Updates/Announcements
Currently i don't know if i'm going to maintain
my blog on a daily basis but i am going to blog ACC (cancer) updates - the
original reason for creating my webpage and blog. *Hugs* to my friends and i wish
anyone looking for information about cancer on behalf of themselves or friends
and family all the best on your journey. ~kelly sXe
"With happy
thoughts,
faith and trust and
a sprinkling of fairy dust"
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Monday, July 05, 2004
For the second time in as many days i've been taught the lesson of not judging someone by the way they look. A stranger to me walked into our meeting yesterday. From all appearances i woulda guessed she was a junkie fresh from the streets with less clean time than i got... that is until she opened her mouth.
The platinum blonde dread locks, the tatts on both arms (and not the pretty little fairy type), the skater boy pants, the muscle shirt with the words "porn star" printed on the front looked a little off on someone as old as she appeared to be and gave no clue as to what was on the inside of this girl.
Part way into the meeting, and less than a minute after she started to share, the intelligence, wisdom and serenity behind the look became apparent and i'm sure i wasn't the only one starting to wonder where she was from and how much clean time she really had. We were all quite mesmerized by the way her words just flowed out so calmly and focused not like the rest of us that sound disjointed and scattered much of the time.
It's no exageration when i say we were like moths to a flame when the meeting ended. It's amazing how drawn we are to people with good recovery... to anyone that can give us some glimpse or insight into ourselves and how we can be more successful at living life on life's terms.
As it turns out she'd just finished a 4 yr degree program, had recently moved to Calgary and had 20 plus years clean. 20 plus years without any drugs, alcohol or any other mind altering substance. Can you imagine what that is like? To live that long with nothing clouding your mind or easing the pain of living? And if you think life isn't painful then you're living in a bubble just like i was for most of my adult life.
Just a few years ago i couldn't have related to anyone that hadn't done drugs for a day let alone 20 or more years and i wouldn't have wanted to relate to them either. Now i think they are the kewlest people on this earth. They are the only people i want to hang with and they are some of my bestfriends today. We laugh together, we cry together and we have fun together. They know when something is wrong with me before i even know there is something wrong.
And if this all sounds hoakie that's alright cause they were the ones holding me while i cried today... maybe by tomorrow i'll have figured out what i was crying about.
susi
12:06 AM
"I have heard it all my life,
A voice calling a name i recognized as my own.
Sometimes it comes as a soft bellied whisper.
Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency.
But always it says:
Wake up my love.
You are walking asleep.
There's no safety in that."
- -- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
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"You're an interesting species... an interesting mix.
You're capable of such
beautiful dreams...and such horrible nightmares."
- -- Contact
C A N C E R S T U F F
accoi - adenoid cystic
carcinoma organization international
