My nickname is kelly. I'm a 40yr old mom of two beautiful little girls, two guinea pigs and a hamster(Rocky)~ICU nurse~cancer survivor~recovering addict~ex-smoker~living
in Calgary, Alberta.....
.... or...
just another sheep searching for the meaning of life and everlasting
happiness....
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
When i find it i'll be sure to let you know though ;)~~~~~~~~
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Updates/Announcements
Currently i don't know if i'm going to maintain
my blog on a daily basis but i am going to blog ACC (cancer) updates - the
original reason for creating my webpage and blog. *Hugs* to my friends and i wish
anyone looking for information about cancer on behalf of themselves or friends
and family all the best on your journey. ~kelly sXe
"With happy
thoughts,
faith and trust and
a sprinkling of fairy dust"
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Monday, February 17, 2003
Everyone has stood in line behind one. The person with the hundred coupons... the person counting out the pocketfull of change or as in this case the person insisting something is on sale and making us all wait ten minutes while ten people check and recheck and confirm what was first suspected... it is not on sale... "you want it anyway?"... "yes?"... "good".
"Thank you for waiting" she says to the guy in front of me in his jean jacket, jeans and ball cap waiting to pay for his carrots, bananas and hotdog buns likely for his lunch tomorrow. Probably jumped in this line like me thinking it would be quick... ha!! Now i'm getting out my emergency gum cause i left my water in the car thinking i wouldn't be long enough for my mouth to get dry and need it.
I just wanted to grab some corn bran for breaky this morning... i've become addicted to it again. I didn't want the hassle of having to carry the water and my groceries seeing as i didn't need enough to warrant getting a cart. Course it turns out i shoulda got a cart but i settle for a basket. My neck doesn't thank me.
My rotten cold is improving but for some reason my neck is killing me. The pain totally went away a day or two ago and came back again worse than ever last night. I have no idea why and i wouldn't really care except it interferes with me working out... at least with the weights... i could probably get away with the treadmill.
Maybe it's this 25lbs i've packed on in just over a month. Can't imagine my body is too happy about this state of affairs. Oh well the party is truly over now. Time to get a grip. Jack once asked me what The Party's Over meant. I told him i'd write a blurb about it sometime but the procrastination monster got that little project and i never did.
Well closing your eyes, refusing to acknowledge reality and doing whatever you want... then one day opening them and realising what you've done and having to do something about it is more or less what i mean by the party is over... whether it's smoking or drugs or weight or whatever. It's having to live with what you've done... face up to it and fix it... if it's fixable.
Hopefully, reality hits before you get lung cancer... or die of an overdose... or hurt those around you... or you're unable to change your character... or whatever... course some people avoid this altogether thank g*d...
Sometimes it's just being young... having fun... doing what you want... doing what feels good and not realizing that life isn't forever... that we're here for a limited time... then it hits... the realization that it isn't going to last forever... maybe because you get an incurable disease... or because you hit middle age... or ...? ... and the party's over... it doesn't have to be a bad thing... but that carefree spirit is gone and you have to find something to fill the hole it leaves.
susi
3:25 PM
"I have heard it all my life,
A voice calling a name i recognized as my own.
Sometimes it comes as a soft bellied whisper.
Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency.
But always it says:
Wake up my love.
You are walking asleep.
There's no safety in that."
- -- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
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"You're an interesting species... an interesting mix.
You're capable of such
beautiful dreams...and such horrible nightmares."
- -- Contact
C A N C E R S T U F F
accoi - adenoid cystic
carcinoma organization international
