My nickname is kelly. I'm a 40yr old mom of two beautiful little girls, two guinea pigs and a hamster(Rocky)~ICU nurse~cancer survivor~recovering addict~ex-smoker~living
in Calgary, Alberta.....
.... or...
just another sheep searching for the meaning of life and everlasting
happiness....
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
When i find it i'll be sure to let you know though ;)~~~~~~~~
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Updates/Announcements
Currently i don't know if i'm going to maintain
my blog on a daily basis but i am going to blog ACC (cancer) updates - the
original reason for creating my webpage and blog. *Hugs* to my friends and i wish
anyone looking for information about cancer on behalf of themselves or friends
and family all the best on your journey. ~kelly sXe
"With happy
thoughts,
faith and trust and
a sprinkling of fairy dust"
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Saturday, November 30, 2002
Headspace
I can always tell when something is wrong with my head space when... my plants start dying. It means i've stopped watering them altogether. I'm not sure if i do it on purpose... sort of a subtle sign to those around me that i'm not happy although it's never been noticed by anyone so far. I may just do it cause i feel crappy and just can't be bothered to water them. Whatever it is eventually i sorta wake up and go... omg my plants are dying!!... i mean REALLY dying... and i run for water in the hopes of getting to them in time. I really wrecked one of my biggest and prettiest ones this time... a big pink tai plant that loves all the sun it gets in my living room. I'm a little choked about it... i've never left them this long before... it was really lookin nice lately with all the consistent attention i'd been giving it.
I know i haven't been ecstatically happy lately... but who the hell is these days. I can't say i've been unhappy. I'm just not sure what i'm doing anymore. I keep thinking about it but i don't seem to be getting anywhere. I wake up and i do all the right things... workout... shower... get kids to school... clean up... blah blah blah. I think sometimes when you're in that nothing zone... neither happy nor unhappy it's easier to get things done cause you really don't care if you're making a bed or wrapping presents or whatever... it doesn't really matter to me cause nothing turns my crank when i feel like this. There's nothing to look forward to... nothing that lifts your heart just a little... you just exist... with the exception of those little moments i get with my kids where something they do makes me smile or warms my heart. :)
susi
11:05 PM
"I have heard it all my life,
A voice calling a name i recognized as my own.
Sometimes it comes as a soft bellied whisper.
Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency.
But always it says:
Wake up my love.
You are walking asleep.
There's no safety in that."
- -- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
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"You're an interesting species... an interesting mix.
You're capable of such
beautiful dreams...and such horrible nightmares."
- -- Contact
C A N C E R S T U F F
accoi - adenoid cystic
carcinoma organization international
