My nickname is kelly. I'm a 40yr old mom of two beautiful little girls, two guinea pigs and a hamster(Rocky)~ICU nurse~cancer survivor~recovering addict~ex-smoker~living
in Calgary, Alberta.....
.... or...
just another sheep searching for the meaning of life and everlasting
happiness....
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
When i find it i'll be sure to let you know though ;)~~~~~~~~
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Updates/Announcements
Currently i don't know if i'm going to maintain
my blog on a daily basis but i am going to blog ACC (cancer) updates - the
original reason for creating my webpage and blog. *Hugs* to my friends and i wish
anyone looking for information about cancer on behalf of themselves or friends
and family all the best on your journey. ~kelly sXe
"With happy
thoughts,
faith and trust and
a sprinkling of fairy dust"
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Saturday, September 21, 2002
Thursday Continued
Ugghhh it's been a busy couple days and it's not over yet. My daughters have birthdays within a week of each other. We celebrated them both on thursday... (my older daughter's actual birthday)... cause the little one doesn't know it's not her birthday yet.
Despite the fact there is a five year difference in age my little one wants all the same things as the big one. It didn't seem fair for her to watch her big sister unwrap all the presents she wanted herself. Sure makes life easy... i just go buy two of everything.
Although, my little one did want to know... "where the horse she wanted was"...(with the hundred dollar price tag)... a big, furry, stuffed horse you can sit on in toysRus she saw a few weeks ago. Told her she'd have to take that up with santa as it was a tad expensive. Damn didn't think she liked it THAT much.
Anyway, we just did a little family thing... presents... cake... etc. It was a little difficult because the whole time we're doing some last minute running around we knew my mom-in-law was going to die in the next hour or two. The kids didn't know.
All in all the day went well considering the circumstances... that is until that night when the channel broadcasting BigBrother3 went off the air... i didn't get to see ANY of it... damndamndamn!!! Guess i should be thankful they were able to broadcast the first episode of survivor just before that. I was thankful i was here to see anything at all actually.
It's so hard to fathom someone being dead... there i am watching some stupid show that i've waited for with great anticipation for months and my thoughts wander to my mom-in-law and how she doesn't get to enjoy stupid little things like that anymore... and then i start contemplating how none of us will be enjoying those things one day.
I get a strange feeling when i think of how the world just keeps going on without us. Makes ya feel like an ant in a hill of a million other ants... which i guess is basically what we are. It's kind of a lonely feeling to think the world will keep going without you. Kinda like having to leave the party before it's over and all your friends get to stay and continue having fun.
susi
10:02 AM
"I have heard it all my life,
A voice calling a name i recognized as my own.
Sometimes it comes as a soft bellied whisper.
Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency.
But always it says:
Wake up my love.
You are walking asleep.
There's no safety in that."
- -- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
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"You're an interesting species... an interesting mix.
You're capable of such
beautiful dreams...and such horrible nightmares."
- -- Contact
C A N C E R S T U F F
accoi - adenoid cystic
carcinoma organization international
